Do's

1. Do identify your support system and draw from these people at this time.
2. Do feel the stages of the loss process and allow yourself time to recover so you may grow from it.
3. Do explore all the new alternatives presented to you. You now have the power to choose.
4. Do communicate with the other parent as positively as possible.
5. Do present the other parent in a positive light!
6. Do give your child quality time and take time to listen.
7. Do set realistic standards and focus on the strengths of your child.
8. Do celebrate your own uniqueness. Take time for yourself.

Don'ts

1. Don't shut yourself off from others. You'll only end up alone and lonely.
2. Don't deny your feelings or turn to alcohol or drugs to cover them up.
3. Don't let your feelings control you. Look at all the possibilities for changing the situation.
4. Don't talk negatively about the other parent in front of the children. They will only be confused.
5. Don't make the children a pawn of revenge.
6. Don't become a "Disneyland Daddy" or "Magic Mountain Mother". Focus on communication and sharing, not giving presents.
7. Don't demand perfection or find fault with your child.
8. Don't become bitter and not grow through this experience. You can't be bitter and better.
9. Don't become a martyr for the children.