A strategy that I have found helpful in working with teens is a coupon. The teen misbehaves, the parents removes an item from the child's room.

1. Good for one (CD / radio / purse, other). We have taken this item and put it away. You may have it back if you do not (talk back, swear, break curfew, clean your room, other) for twenty-four hours, starting now. If you (do the above) in the next twenty-four hours these items will be sold or given away. They will not be replaced.
   
   
2. I have a separate ticket printed in another color for articles of clothing. This ticket is for your clothes. We have these items and you may have them back unharmed if you do not_____________________________________ for 24 hours, starting now. If you _______________________________________ in the next 24 hours, these items will be given away. They will not be replaced.
   
   
3. I also have a Get Out of Jail Free Card. Make a ticket that says:
   Good for one release from grounding for one day or it can be used to go somewhere. Make a ticket that sys, "Good for four hours away from the house if my parents approve of the destination".

Communication is critical in working with the high maintenance teenager. It is important to think before you speak, listen without interrupting, avoid a judgmental tone of voice, speak calmly without raising your voice, ask questions that promote interesting conversations and talk to your teen the way you want your teen to talk to you.

Dr Susan McSwain advises to practice your calm responses. It might not seem natural to you to respond calmly. You might view each argument or opinion your teen offers as a challenge to your authority and your teen might seem to listen to you more attentively when you yell in response. But is this the way you want to teach you teen to respond? I you want to learn how to respond calmly start practicing calm responses to issues or situations in which you've failed to respond calmly in the past. Explain to your teen that you're changing the way you respond to his or her challenges.